healing emotional pain

This is the Biggest Mistake You Can Make on Your Healing Journey

This is the Biggest Mistake You Can Make on Your Healing Journey

When I first told my parents about being molested they took me to a shrink.

This lady was nice, she had candles, spoke softly, had curly hair.

But I never left her office feeling much better than when I went in.


I always left with the same amount of numbness feeling and hurt as before.

I still wasn’t connecting with anyone or feeling especially happy or free.


So when I finally connected with the woman who would teach me to begin freeing myself, I was overjoyed.

I remember leaving her house that day with a sense of calmness, and almost neutrality that I hadn’t felt in years….or perhaps ever.

It was the most powerful thing I had ever experienced on my healing journey thus far, so needless to say I booked more appointments, and over the following two years I would continue to go.

And continue to leave feeling open and connected to the world again.


But during those two years, I began to make the biggest mistake anyone can make on their healing journey…I trusted someone else to completely guide my healing journey.

As a child who suffered abuse, I was desperate to have someone guide me.

It was consolation really, for my lack of strong adult figures, now in my adulthood I was going to rely on someone to take me step by step.

I was so used to relying completely on myself, that it was kind of a relief to give up my life to someone else’s guidance, I wouldn’t have to worry about it.

She would guide me, I thought, to completely heal myself.

But soon, I would learn…

3 Reasons Why You Need to Heal Your Emotional Pain

3 Reasons Why You Need to Heal Your Emotional Pain

We all have dreams.

The kind of house we want. The kind of relationships we want. The kind of footprint we leave on this earth.

But often, we are trapped in fear of really manifesting what we want.

Why?

Because we are trapped in the shame, fear, anger, and numbness from our pasts.

 

What would it mean to you to be able to live your life exactly as you want to live it?

Where would you be going? Travelling the world? Visiting old friends?

What would you be doing? Helping others? Building a business?

I want you to take a moment right now. Yes right now…shut your eyes…take a deep breath…and give your mind 30 seconds of focused attention on what your dream life would look like. You can start from waking up in the morning. Ok….ready? GO!

 

How was that?

What did you see?

And the final and most important question….why don’t you have it yet?

A Review of "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk

A Review of "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Trauma affects many people throughout their lives.

And it isn’t only in refugee camps or battle fields.

It can be found in the home.

Physical Abuse

Sexual Abuse

Child Abuse

Mental Abuse

Absent Parents

Or even life-threatening accidents.

Trauma comes in many forms.

And sometimes it even comes from watching a loved-one suffer.

Like watching mommy being beaten.

Many of us have suffered traumas over the course of our lives. And many of us live in denial. The pain of the event is too great to imagine…so we shut it out…pretend like everything is ok.

“It takes tremendous energy to...READ MORE

Stop Generational Trauma & Abuse Now! Seriously, you reading this, break out of it! Be free!

Stop Generational Trauma & Abuse Now! Seriously, you reading this, break out of it! Be free!

All Anger is Self-Directed 

by Catalina Wiles

This is what my therapist said to me in response to saying I was angry with my father.

I was angry because I felt he never connected with me emotionally.

"But all anger is self-directed," she repeated.

This was the moment that I...begrudgingly...realized why I was truly angry.

Deep in my heart I was angry at myself.

I should have done more to reach out to my father. Break that impermeable wall and make a connection. But a child does not always understand this concept. All a child understands is that nobody in my life is interested in what I am feeling.

Nobody cares about my experience. They just want me to be a good little boy or girl. And they willing to hit me if they don’t get what they want, like my father hit...

How to Free Your Heart from Deep Emotional Pain

How to Free Your Heart from Deep Emotional Pain

Ah...the heart...

It’s what drives us gives us energy and hope, connects us to the world, gives our life purpose.

But when your heart has been shut down...maybe repeatedly...you begin to lose trust. And the world becomes a scary and threatening place.

We cut ourselves off from each other...fabricate separation….the mine and the yours.

Some of us have good reason.

Most of us have suffered trauma in our lives...sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, neglect, medical intervention, life threatening injuries, car accidents...and the list goes on. We build emotional pain!

So we become fearful to protect ourselves from the world.

And anxiety and depression show up.

Now the heart is a REALLY big topic.

So I’m going to break it down into some parts, the parts I’ll call