How to Free Your Heart from Deep Emotional Pain

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Ah the heart....where to begin?

 

It’s what drives us gives us energy and hope, connects us to the world, gives our life purpose.

 

But when your heart has been shut down...maybe repeatedly...you begin to lose trust. And the world becomes a scary and threatening place.

 

We cut ourselves off from each other...fabricate separation….the mine and the yours.

 

Some of us have good reason.

 

Most of us have suffered trauma in our lives...sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, neglect, medical intervention, life threatening injuries, car accidents...and the list goes on.

For related reading, check out: What is Trauma? What You Need to Know to Heal

 

So we become fearful to protect ourselves from the world.

 

And anxiety and depression show up.

 

Now the heart is a REALLY big topic.

 

So I’m going to break it down into some parts, the parts I’ll call “the fluffy feely good stuff” and the “deep hurts” and we can address how to heal the heart, connect with ourselves, and ultimately the world around us.

 

Now you’ll probably know which of the two categories fit you best.

 

If not ask yourself; have I suffered any traumas in my life (childhood or adulthood)?

 

Free Yourself From Trauma

Don't carry this weight anymore. Shed the crap that's holding you down, and become the best possible version of yourself today!

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Trauma, PTSD, and Emotional Pain

 

Here are some examples of events that CAN be traumatic (though not necessarily):

  • Abandonment by a caregiver

  • Divorce

  • Physical Abuse

  • Neglect (emotional or physical)

  • Sexual Abuse

  • Rape

  • Car Accidents

  • Spankings

  • Medical Intervention

  • Physical Harm

  • Being Trapped

  • Verbal Abuse

  • War

  • Violence to you or someone near you

 

This is not an exhaustive list. To figure out if an event was traumatic for you, you need to visit a doctor or therapist specialized in trauma.

 

Here are also links to books that changed my life in terms of trauma. I learned A LOT, the first book is sorta technical but will really help you understand trauma. The second is more anecdotal, and I was crying the entire time I read it. Just releasing...hurt.

 
 

 

So trauma is the “deep hurts” category of my heart healing program.

 

I want everyone to know that addressing the “fluffy feely good stuff” first may help for a while. But the only path to truly healing yourself is by addressing the deeper stuff.

 

 

Fluffy Feely Good Stuff: Meditation and Opening the Heart

 

Now, I love the “fluffy feely good stuff.”

 

I know it kinda has a silly name but that doesn’t mean it can’t be helpful. And also that doesn’t mean that it can’t be used in conjunction with deeper healing.

 

The most effective way to center yourself, and get back to what your heart REALLY wants in this life, is through meditation.

 

Or if that sounds too much like a woo-woo buzzword call it paying attention.

 

Your heart is constantly telling you things.

 

I like this. I don’t like this. I feel threatened in this situation.

 

So what’s the best way to connect with your heart? Listen to it.

 

Seems easy right.

 

Well sometimes it is...and sometimes it isn’t.

 

Let’s explore a quick meditation that we can do (I’m talking 30 seconds) to reconnect with ourselves.

 

Place one hand on your heart, and one hand on your belly. And just ask yourself. How are you? Really? Take deep breaths as you do this. Listen to that little voice and voila connection with the heart! You don’t always need to take action, sometimes just listening is enough.

 

I like to think of this as you speaking to your inner child. If, like MANY of us did, you suffered a trauma in your childhood. It’s very possible that nobody paid attention to your emotions when it happened. And as a child, you just learn to ignore the emotions. Right?

 

It’s like cleaning your room, if your parents never taught you to do it, you probably will grow up to not do it on your own. It’s just how it works.

 

So our hearts maybe never had the chance to be acknowledged as children. So there’s like this constant hush hush about our true feelings. But if you just listen instead acknowledge you’ve already gone a long way in healing yourself, and staying present with yourself no matter what.

 

You may have to do an exercise like that one 50 times a day.

 

The heart and the mind are slightly silly distinctions to make. Because they are so connected that it’s often difficult to separate them.

 

If you’re interested to know more about trauma you can also read my articles:

How detraumatization saved my life.

And this one about what trauma is and why it matters.

 

Free Yourself From Trauma

Don't carry this weight anymore. Shed the crap that's holding you down, and become the best possible version of yourself today!

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit
 

Please remember that the advice and opinions given on this website are anecdotal and unprofessional. I am not a doctor, I am not a therapist, and I am not a healthcare professional. Please consult a doctor before doing any of the recommended activities on this blog.