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ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: I use the term daddy, or dad a lot but recognize all types of families! I use the term for ease of writing, but please change it in your mind as you read to apply to you or your family <3.
during my hours and hours of research, I came across this amazing youtube video
It’s of an awesome midwife who’s been delivering babies for many, many years (I’m putting the video in below for you).
She talks about A LOT of stuff…
But one of the main takeaways for me was that we need to be more understanding of a dad’s role in the delivery room.
I mean to old way to look at things was dad pacing outside the door waiting to light his cigar.
But times have certainly changed.
And the role of daddy has certianly changed! So let’s get with the times and discuss how to empower our partners during the birth process.
For related reading see: 11 WAYS TO PREPARE FOR BABY WITH YOUR PARTNER OR HUSBAND
The article continues below…
why dad needs a plan
it empowers dad
Like I mentioned before, this is no longer the 50s! We live in a world where dads take on a bigger role in the birth & parenting of their children.
When dad knows what to expect (more or less) and has an idea of what to do in certain situations that can arise during labor, he’ll feel more prepared.
And ultimately this empowers him, knowing that what he’s doing is making a difference, and is helping the situation.
dad has choices to make too
Chord cutting? Skin to skin? Helping deliver?
Dad has some things to ponder before the birth…sure not as many as mom…but certainly some questions worth pondering before the big day.
Mom feels more supported
With a partner who’s better prepared, mom will feel more supported.
Need some quiet time? Dad has a little script he can say to nosy visitors!
Experiencing pain? Dad has a list of what he can do to help!
Dad’s insecurities are lowered when he has a plan of action, so he’ll be less likely to bother mom with burning questions while she’s trying to birht a human.
I’m a huge proponent of any kind of plan in a marriage or partnership.
From things like finances to parenting to basically anything.
Yeah shit doesn’t always go as planned…but having a plan helps you feel more confident in your relationship & trust each other more!
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Hospital Preparation Checklist
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what to include in dad’s birth plan
important questions to consider
1. Will you be assisting with the birth? How does your role complement your chosen provider?
2. If you need a break, how can you communicate this to momma? (here's a prompt that might help: "Honey, I'm feeling a bit overhwelmed/tired, I'd like to take a walk/nap, can I help you with anything before I go? Is this an OK time to take a break?)"
3. Would you like skin to skin contact?
4. Who would you like alllowed into the delivery room? How does that overlap with or conflict with mommy's wishes?
Make a list of all the important things that might come up for dad during the birth…and write out some answers for yourself!
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what to include in dad’s birth plan continued
self care for dads
Make sure you outline little escape routes for dad for when he’s feeling overwhelmed, scared, anxious, or overtired!
Yeah mommy self-care is a thing but so is daddy self care.
Make a little plan about what you can say to mommy when you need a break!
what dad can do when mommy feels...
If mommy’s feeling pain…here are some ideas about what daddy can do or say to best support her!
Offer a massage
Offer to walk around
Offer to bounce on ball
Offer a bath or shower
Offer to distract
Offer to hold hand
Sit down with your partner and decide what daddy can do when mommy’s feeling…pain, anxiety, tired, and much more!
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Join the FREE prepare for baby challenge!
Your step-by-step guide to preparing ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING for your baby’s arrival!
Tell us in the comments sections below…what do you wish your partner knew before going into birth?