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We all have dreams.
The kind of house we want. The kind of relationships we want. The kind of footprint we leave on this earth.
But often, we are trapped in fear of really manifesting what we want.
Because we are trapped in the shame, fear, anger, and numbness from our pasts.
What would it mean to you to be able to live your life exactly as you want to live it?
Where would you be going? Travelling the world? Visiting old friends?
What would you be doing? Helping others? Building a business?
I want you to take a moment right now. Yes right now…shut your eyes…take a deep breath…and give your mind 30 seconds of focused attention on what your dream life would look like. You can start from waking up in the morning. Ok….ready? GO!
How was that?
What did you see?
And the final and most important question….why don’t you have it yet?
If you’re like most of the population, you’ve suffered difficulties in the past. Things like emotional trauma, physical pain, loss, and physical harm are most common. In fact, almost everyone you meet has lived through terrible things.
Loss of loved ones. Living on the street. Physical abuse. Self harm.
Yeah we’ve all suffered greatly, but there are two camps of people….or rather people are in one of two different stages.
2. On a healing journey
So the point of this article, why I’m wasting my time and yours writing this, is to talk about why it’s better to be #2.
1. Emotional pain stunts your growth in life.
Emotional pain is the woo-woo version of coffee for children, “coffee stunts your growth,” my mom used to say, and emotional pain, is the same way.
Let’s look at an example from my real life:
I began this journey of blogging with the intention of sharing what I know about the healing journey, and getting people on the right track with it.
So I began sharing my dirty laundry. Yes I was pretty damn honest about everything that happened to me as a child:
It was all fine and normal when I began the blog, because nobody I knew personally was reading it. I was sending the truth of what happened to me to a bunch of strangers. And I didn’t really feel any nervousness around sharing.
Then it so happened that a blog post of mine got shared to my personal Facebook account…and I went through some serious sh*t.
I mean a blog post of mine being shared is good! It means the advancement of the blog I’ve put literally thousands of hours into by now…but at the same time…the panic in me was telling me…TAKE THE POST DOWN IMMEDIATELY…DELETE THE POST….DON’T LET ANYONE SEE IT!
Why was that happening to me?
Because I was still feeling shame around the sexual abuse…which was what I was sharing in the post.
I didn’t want people I knew to know what had happened to me.
I chock that up to two main reasons:
1. Feeling shame around the abuse still
2. Growing up in an environment where things like molestation weren’t talked about…everyone in my family knew it had happened to me…because it happened within my family…but nobody apart from my mother ever talked to me about it directly.
So yeah I had some trouble around the idea of people I know…knowing the real me.
But at the same time, this was an incredible opportunity for me. This was an opportunity to heal. Because:
1. I don’t want to feel shame around my abuse…it wasn’t my fault.
2. I believe in open communication…I believe it fuels feelings of acceptance and love and healing
2. The universe wants you to heal…so let it help you
As you begin on your journey to healing your emotional pain…you’ll be bombarded by what I like to call moments of guidance.
The universe or God….if that’s your thing, is moving the world around you in such a way that if you take advantage of it…it will heal you.
The previous example is a big one…I didn’t want anyone to see my blog post…but it was shared.
The universe created this opportunity because I am on the path of healing.
Some things to remember:
1. The universe gives you what you ask for. I, for example, want to heal my wounds. I’ve been verbal about that, I’ve read books about that, and I’ve written a lot about that. I’ve been giving off signals galore that I’m ready to level up.
If you’re interested in healing your old wounds, you will be given opportunities to do so. What you do with those opportunities is up to you.
2. You can ask the universe for signs. Just close your eyes, breathe deep a few times, and ask for a sign from the universe that any given situation is one where you have something to heal.
In the past I’ve had such signs as birds, butterflies, owls, the number 43, and the number 111. Just a word of advice, allow the first thing that pops into your head to be the symbol that you use. It popped into your head for a reason.
3. Unhealed pain repeats itself
It’s no accident that you say the same things to your kids that your parents said to you.
You were taught to say those things like, “if you finish your peas you can have dessert.”
The same principle extends to how your parents treated your physical and emotional bodies. If you were abused, harmed, or neglected, you will inadvertently repeat these harms on beings or things weaker than you.
This is a fact that is talked about mostly with the name “the cycle of abuse.”
If you’re interested to know more, we also talk about it in the article titled: "Stop Generational Trauma & Abuse Now"
Now that’s not to say that if you were raped, you will automatically rape someone. Not at all. Because often we hold ourselves back from doing the things that were done to us, but the unhealed pain of being raped will appear in different forms.
Perhaps you become tyrannical about your kids’ grades, or find yourself overwhelmed, angry and yelling at misbehaving children to the point of scaring yourself and them.
Or…more often than not you will repeat the pain onto yourself…in the form of addiction, self harm, or emotional abuse.
Yes, you can emotionally abuse yourself, think calling yourself ugly when looking in the mirror, or thinking thoughts about yourself like “I’m a failure, I’m not good at anything,”
We can have what we want in this world:
Freedom, happiness, & of course money! But first, as we are on the journey toward manifesting our true desires, we will be faced with the often overwhelming and terrifying task of healing the wounds we still carry around.
Let’s transform pain, hurt, anger, shame, & fear into love, belonging, empowerment, and freedom. You CAN do this.
When you’re ready to heal. I’m ready to guide you.
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It’s been a joy writing for you today. I hope my insights serve you.
In the comment section below drop me a line.